When words fail me, I can't help but get emo and put on music as I paint or draw or just make something weird and messy. I did that again today, although I wish so hard it was for different reasons.
It's strange to be fond of some person you've never met--to feel connected to them. There aren't many contemporary celebrities I look to with such admiration and gratitude for what they throw out into our atmosphere.
That's why today feels so heavy.
I don't know if I've ever felt this shock and confusion before--when a person we've grown to love takes themselves away from the lot of us. Particularly when that person has been an unsuspecting beacon of hope who makes us all take a sideways look at our world.
Your creativity and your approach to the people on this planet will be gravely missed. How I wish the final quote above could play out in real life. Eamon and I have talked several times about where we thought you'd eventually retire--some part of us hoping to emulate your wanderings, step for step. Your words, after all, have been a driving motivation behind so much of our travel and food and learning about people who aren't anything like us. It feels selfishly motivated, but we all wanted you to stick around. You were full of hope and you did see the beauty in life.
As we've seen this week already, depression is a hell of a beast.
I wish I had some moral of the story, beautiful way to tie this up, but I don't. I'm just sad.
#ripanthonybourdain #weloveyou
